Random thoughts….

It feels I’m officially a Londoner. Headphones in, head down, lifted only when a tourist asks for directions….which seems to generally always to be to me. Obviously the remnants of life in friendly Salt Lake, where, to be honest I wasn’t nearly as friendly and approachable as others due to my introverted and shy nature, but none the less, much more smiley than your average Londoner. I like being the approachable one now.

I think I’m suited to the UK. I’ve never had roots anywhere. I don’t think I’ll ever feel rooted anywhere because of that. It has it’s good sides and bad sides. I’m always up for an adventure and I have friends all over the states and now the world. But it’s hard to stay close to everyone. Sometimes I envy those that have lived in the same town and grown up with the same people their entire life.

My life is compartmentalised into different sections. It almost feels like I’ve lived many different lives. I identify with different versions of myself depending on where we lived. It’s quite bizarre to be honest. I don’t remember California or Denver, but Texas Brittany would have stayed dancing and grown up in theatre. New Jersey Brittany would have probably continued on theatre but more importantly would have attended an Ivy League…having a college counselor in 6th grade and looking at where all of my other friends went proves that. I could easily be living in London if I’d stayed there though- wonder if I would’ve crossed paths with David? Utah Brittany had multiple lives- every group of friends were a bit different. I had my bonneville/cottonwood club friends, my Churchill/skyline friends, the JMR group, the DGs, etc. I even dated some ‘questionable’ characters, very different to myself. I think its a beauty and a curse to be able to fit into any group. I have an identity and know who I am, so have no problem moving between groups but have dealt with judgmental people thinking I’d get sucked into whatever other people I was hanging out with were doing. I think I’m just curious, I’ve moved so much that I enjoy learning and seeing things from as many perspectives as I can.
Some people aren’t that way though and don’t want to try and see other views, especially in Utah but it’s a global problem… If everyone were more empathetic and could put themselves in others shoes I don’t think wars would happen. Because of not having firm roots, I have learned how to see multiple sides to every story, how to get along with everyone, or at least not be offensive to others and to respect people’s differences and cultures. Utah is home, but even that doesn’t always seem like home to me. Utah is just a place. Home is family. Home is my mom and dad. Home is a combination of New Jersey & Utah and the fierce memories of everywhere else I’ve travelled and been to. I may not have roots, but not having those roots has become my strength.